What it all boils down to

“Only a masochist could ever love such a narcissist.” – Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl

Occasionally I wonder how it’s possible — how it’s possible that nothing seems to have changed, nothing seems to have gone away or even dissipated, nothing seems to have made enough of a difference to steer me in the right direction. But then I wonder if I got it confused: am I still in this out of actual feeling, or out of habit?

Either way, it’s becoming a bit of an inconvenience.

I’ve been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
And all the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I’ve been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak, and my heart is so shattered
But I think it’s about forgiveness
Even if you don’t love me anymore

– India.Arie/Don Henley, The Heart Of The Matter

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