The L-word

L-word

It’s been barely three weeks since my life took a turn. To the sounds of old-school R&B such as the likes of Hi-Five’s The Kissing Game, I suddenly found myself embarking on a whole new phase of my life, and yet it was one that I had been on before, albeit a very long time ago.

The transition occurred so suddenly, but seemed so easy, so seamless, that it feels as though I’ve been in it for the longest time now.  The old anger seems to have dissipated; I don’t remember the last time I felt that monstrous, consuming wave of rage and frustration — both at you and myself — everytime I thought or talked about it.

Now the desert winds have stopped blowing, the waves have ceased to rock this emotional boat I’ve been stranded in for the past year and more, and everything seems to have reached a calmer state. And even though my professional life has just about hit rock bottom, and I come to work waiting for the day to end, I take comfort in the fact that there is an end to the day, and there is something to ease the pain of it all.

Best of all, I’m learning again that I haven’t been damaged beyond repair after all. That given enough time, patience and acceptance, I am able to find a way to bring all the old feelings back, a way to start doing this all over again. That it really can be as easy as it seems, and that somehow the jaded bitterness and cynicism I’ve lived with for so long just might be able to fade, if not disappear entirely altogether.

Amidst all this, my life has fallen into a routine. But it’s a routine I wouldn’t give up for the world right now.

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