You can plan your life to the last detail
Chart the course your heart will follow through your days
But the funny thing about answered prayers
Is they come to you in unexpected ways
– Plan On Forever, Dana Glover –
I’ve always been a divide-and-conquer person. I can take a problem apart, segregate and categorize the pieces, then solve them bit by bit before putting everything back together. I can organize my thoughts, practically see them in my mind as I break them down, and present any situation in the most systematic and structured form possible.
But when it comes to breaking down everything that has defined my life for the past 18 days, I find that my mind draws a complete blank, because I hardly know where to start.
Everything has meshed into one big blur of thoughts, emotions and internal arguments. And as strange, twisted and wrong as it sounds, I have never been in a more appropriate frame of mind to take it all and handle it the only way it can be handled, given the circumstances.
I may have always had a knack for running myself into the same wall over and over again, but at least this time I’m running into a different kind of wall. And the pain has never felt better.