Mom: Are you going out?
S: Well… yes. Why?
Mom: Nothing. I just realized you haven’t been out in a while —
S: About three weeks now. I’ve tried to be good.
Mom: — except for your movies and concerts. Where are you going?
S: Jasmine’s boyfriend’s birthday party.
Mom: No idea who that is.
S: It’s at the Sky Bar at the Traders Hotel.
Mom: No idea where that is either. Are you picking Becca up?
S: Yes. She’s not allowed to drive at night.
Mom: You two are going to end up like those women who grow old and have cats together.
S: Don’t say that! Who knows, maybe tonight could change all that.
Mom: (with an abrupt bark of laughter) That’s not going to happen, tonight or anytime soon, from the looks of it.
S: What’s that supposed to mean?
Mom: Oh, come on. You know you’re still in love with what’s-his-face.
S: (flying out of the kitchen) Okseeyoutomorrowbye!
Clearly, my mother has decided that filtering and sifting will not work anymore.