Carrie: I got mugged! She took everything I got!
Samantha: She must have left something. A triangle, a little landing strip?
Carrie: No, I am completely bald! And might I add, freezing.
– Sex & the City –
Last Saturday I was browsing in MPH Subang Parade when I realized I had left my cell phone in the bathroom at the gym. In a panic, I sped back to the gym, where the Customer Service Counter confirmed that I had, indeed, left my phone there and someone had been scrupulous enough to leave it in their custody.
Ten minutes later, I was entering Parkson to see if there were an Yves Saint Laurent cosmetic counter when I received a call from the gym. It appeared that upon retrieving my phone, I had promptly left my car and house keys behind on the counter. I did another sprint back to the gym, looking and feeling rather frazzled from all the self-inflicted clattering back and forth, but pleasantly surprised that civilized service like this existed in this country.
Yesterday, I received a call from the gym again, and for a moment I wondered wildly if I had left yet more of myself behind that they had just discovered.
Caller: Hi, is this *** ***?
Me: (taken aback at being addressed by the Chinese name, which is a very rare occurrence, and almost instinctively asking, “Who?”) Yes…
Caller: Oh, hi, this is (name I can’t remember) from Celebrity Fitness. I’m an instructor here. I understand you just joined the gym?
Me: Well… I joined in January, if you count that as ‘just’.
Instructor: Oh… OK… So I will make an appointment for you then?
Me: (thinking it was one of the two complimentary personal trainer sessions yet to be taken) Um… why?
Instructor: To show you around, and show you how the machines work.
Me: (completely incredulous now) Are you calling the right person? I joined in January and I’ve been going about four times a week.
Instructor: Oh… OK then. Goodbye.
Civilized service aside, this was a bit much, even for this country.