The little spot between sanity and hysteria
It’s 8:52PM and I’m still in my office. The last person has just walked out the door, leaving me completely alone. And the odd thing is, even though I’ve completed my work for the day — or as much of it as I can at this stage — I’m still here because I choose to be — and also because it takes a while to psyche myself up for the drive home. The only other time I get to be alone is when I come in to work in the morning, and I’m almost always the first to arrive, therefore having the whole office to myself for at least a good forty minutes, but even then at that point I’m still recovering from the battle with traffic. Maybe it’s the gradual calm settling in after everyone has bustled out the door that feels strangely comforting to me, even more so than my own house. And now that everyone is gone and the office is quiet I can take some time to breathe, decompress from the crazy day — and think. Because if I stop to think about anything else but work during the day, and if I try to think when I’m sitting in my room and letting the day’s events wash over me, the pain is so great that it becomes almost physical.