More work than a car

“Being a woman is worse than being a farmer — there are so many areas to be cultivated and maintained: legs to be waxed, underarms shaved, eyebrows plucked, feet pumiced, skin exfoliated and moisturised, spots cleansed, roots dyed, eyelashes tinted, nails filed, cellulite massaged, stomach muscles exercised. The whole performance is so highly tuned that you only need to neglect it for a few days for the whole thing to go to seed. Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if left to revert to nature — with a full beard and handlebar moustache on each shin, Denis Healey eyebrows, face a graveyard of dead skin cells, spots erupting, long curly fingernails like Struwwelpeter, flabby body flobbering around. Ugh, ugh. Is it any wonder girls have no confidence?” – Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones’s Diary

It’s been a while since I had a full maintenance day, and by ‘maintenance’ I mean on myself. When I was in the U.S., I went for a Brazilian wax religiously every month, and in the summer I went for monthly pedicures. Every once in a while, when I remembered or when I was beginning to feel rather disgusted with myself for neglecting other aspects of feminine upkeep, I would go for a facial.

Another reason I don’t do maintenance days is that I just never had time. The only days when I really do have time is on weekends, but then all the places I go to would be booked up and I could never coordinate the times to all fit into one day. I would end up going for my Brazilian at the beginning of the month, and then the pedicure (not even manicure, because the work I do would ruin it in a day) some two weeks later, and a facial maybe once every three months, something which I’ve always been ambivalent about because I could never quite find a really good facial.

Until perhaps now. Becca discovered what is possibly the best facial either one of us has ever had, and this might have just added a facial to my regular maintenance list. I was even almost talked into signing up for an entire 10-treatment package, which I’m still on the fence about, but wouldn’t mind as it seems like a pretty good deal, if I can make sure I follow through with all the sessions.

I suppose it doesn’t hurt that all three aestheticians for my Brazilian, pedicure and facial are within 0.15 miles of one another. And right now I’m at Starbucks, in between my facial and pedicure. So maybe I can manage a full maintenance day after all.

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