Barely three weeks ago, I was offered the opportunity of a lifetime to be able to do something I’ve always loved, something that I’ve been doing since before I can even remember. The only catch was that I was given almost no time at all to consider it, and before I knew it I was being drafted to go to Korea, of all places, for as little as a week, to as long as 16 weeks. The suddenness and randomness of it had me in such a daze that I agreed to it without much thought.
Hours later, I realized that I was in no way prepared for such a big step. I had a friend’s fashion show to produce, pending columns to write for the local newspaper, my very first business venture about to take off in a matter of days, and a boyfriend who was coming back to Malaysia only hours before I had to fly off. Taking that opportunity would mean literally dropping everything else in my life and leaving several people in the lurch for an unspecified amount of time.
So I let that opportunity go, and it’s not likely that anything like it will ever come my way again. Naturally, I woke up the next morning immediately regretting that I had backed out of it, and by the time I had decided to reenter, a replacement for me had already been found.
I will probably regret it for a long time, but I suppose it beats the guilt of leaving everything and everyone high and dry while I go off chasing a dream that may or may not be meant for me to begin with.
In retrospect, I probably should have just thrown caution to the wind and flown off to Korea, given the way my relationship, and therefore my life, have been for the last 13 days. God knows it wouldn’t be in the shambles it is now if I hadn’t been around to be the catalyst in the first place.
So the moral of the story? Don’t second-guess yourself when it comes to something you know you want, even if you don’t think you can handle it. You will probably never be sure about it until you’re actually doing it.