Is this how the kids are doing it now?

Samantha: I trust you’re finding something noteworthy to put in your column, JJ?
JJ: Look at you… I can think of a few other places I’d like to put my column tonight.
Samantha: Dream on, JJ.

– Sex & the City –

I was at Bangsar Village II’s MPH after a gym session earlier tonight, browsing the titles and minding my own business, when, out of the corner of my eye, I sensed someone walking up to me. I looked up warily, to see a boy — and I say ‘boy’ because he could not have been much older than I — standing next to me with a tentatively inquisitve look on his face…

Boy: Excuse me, hi. I’m sorry, but can I ask you a question?
Me: (left eyebrow already inching its way up) It depends…
Boy: I just wanted to ask — do you think it’s OK for a girl to check her boyfriend’s phone for text messages?
Me: Excuse me?
Boy: Yeah, I just wanted to get your opinion, because, you know, you’re a girl.
Me: Is this for school?
Boy: No, no! You see, my best friend’s girlfriend is not happy that he talks to other girls, even though they’re just friends, so she started checking his phone because she thinks he’s cheating on her.
Me: Well, is he?
Boy: No, of course not! He’s the nicest guy you’ll ever meet.
Me: (snorting) I’m sure.
Boy: Whoa… That was a very cynical “I’m sure.”
Me: Well, you are his best friend, so you would have your own biases.
Boy: So, as a girl, is it really OK to check the guy’s phone for calls and messages? They’ve been together two years already.
Me: (walking around the aisles and keeping eyes fixed on book spines as a hint of disinterest) I think it’s wrong for anyone to check their boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s phones. But if after two years there are trust issues like this, something must be wrong somewhere, so maybe she has her reasons for feeling this way.
Boy: How old are you?
Me: (thrown by the change of course in utter randomness) Excuse me, you don’t ask a woman her age, particularly not one you don’t know.
Boy: OK, I’m 24.
Me: (getting tired of this by-play) Well… I didn’t ask. But assuming your friends are your age, they’re a bit too old to be dealing with their problems this way.
Boy: They’re 21. And how old are you?
Me: Not that it matters, but I’m 25. Or I will be this year.
Boy: Oh, that’s too old for me.
Me: (completely taken aback and quite ruffled now) I don’t see how that’s relevant, but excuse me?

At this point, thankfully, the useless banter was interrupted, upon which I scurried off. It was later pointed out to me that the boy, who really did not look much older than 21 himself, was attempting a pick-up routine. If that had indeed been the case, I would have given it a 2/10, for being long-winded, tedious and completely fruitless in the end, because no names were given (although, as also pointed out, this might have been because we were interrupted and I was swept out of the store).

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