… Well, the inevitable happened.
No, I am not a victim of (voluntary) domestic physical violence.
My cats are extremely active in the morning, having spent the entire night sleeping on my bed, under the covers, on my chest, and anywhere else that pleases them. And the one thing Allegra loves to do every morning is engage in a game of catch, which does fairly well to wake me up because all three of them end up chasing each other back and forth across the bed, and over my own body.
Then this morning, in her excitement and general disregard for anything in the house, Allegra ran over my face. Yes’m, she did. This is something she has done more than once, but on all the previous occasions, I was able to pull the covers over my head in time. This time, however, I was just barely waking up, so all signs of imminent danger — and disfiguration — did not yet present themselves in my brain.
It was extremely painful in the first minute that it happened, but I only really panicked when I took my hand off my face and saw blood on my fingers. And so, for the next few weeks, my concealer will be working overtime to hide the results of Allegra’s unchecked boisterousness. I always knew it was worth investing in good makeup.
It’s probably worth noting that if I had gotten out of bed when I was supposed to — a whole half-hour earlier — I could have avoided this entirely.