For a Queen, by McQueen

It was the moment the entire world was waiting for. All over the world, people were getting out of bed at unearthly hours, pausing their work, or rushing home to their TVs to witness the most highly-anticipated event of the year — and it was only April.

It was not the wedding of Prince William of Wales and Catherine Middleton. Nobody’s that stupid, they all know what happens at a wedding.

It was the moment Catherine Middleton stepped out of the Rolls-Royce that brought her from London’s Goring Hotel to Westminster Abbey. In that dress.


I have to write this because in all my born days of hating weddings and trying not to attend or be involved with any if I can help it — a fact I hope to have made crystal clear — I have never seen a bride who wore her wedding dress as well as Kate Middleton did. I have never seen a wedding dress that suited a bride so precisely, so accurately, that as soon as everyone laid eyes on that breathtaking Alexander McQueen creation by Sarah Burton, there must surely have been a few whispers of, “I’m not surprised she’s wearing that.”

Then again, I have never seen a bride so perfectly in control of herself as Kate was, either, and this dress was a testament to that. From the many weddings I was previously too weak to refuse attendance, it seemed as though the brides were going for dresses that would bring out any one aspect of their personality most clearly — be it their (deluded views of) sex appeal, their love for ostentatiousness, or just their desire to make it known in any way, shape or form that they thought themselves above all other women simply because they were getting married. But Kate appeared to know that this was exactly what she wanted her wedding dress to look like, this was just how she wanted her hair to be styled, and this was how she was going to do her own makeup on her big day.

And this was how she wanted the world to remember her when she becomes Queen of the Commonwealth realms.

So congratulations, William, on finding the rare woman whose head always seems to be on her shoulders — which is more than I can say for the friends I have who are about to get married and being completely annoying about it. And congratulations, Kate, for not succumbing to pressure and keeping your head when everyone else around you is only too happy to lose theirs.

Now please bear with me and my favorite photos of the bride. It’s not often (actually pretty much never) that I have any interest at all in a wedding. Plus, no matter what, I am, after all, a girl, and therefore a sucker for all things beautiful.

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