Sometimes we make a decision that we think is the right/best one. After all, we want what’s best for ourselves and for the one(s) we love, don’t we? But then what happens when you realize that might not have been the wisest decision to make? Do you grit your teeth and bear with it, hoping that in the end things just might work out, unlikely as it may seem? Or do you resign yourself to that unlikelihood and find a decent, less painful way of getting out of it?
In short, what if you need the doghouse, only there’s no doghouse?
I have no illusions about my life and the circumstances of it. I am well aware of what I’ve been doing and the consequences of everything. I know that everything that’s gone wrong — and everything that has suddenly begun to get worse — was entirely my own fault because I didn’t play by the rules and I didn’t know what others wanted, and I was too afraid to ask because every time I opened my mouth I made things worse. And I know well enough not to blame anyone else because there isn’t anyone else to blame. And yet… sometimes — just sometimes — I wish there were a way I could make it all a little easier to bear.