Epiphany

Epiphany

forgiveness

The thing about being caught in a midst of an emotional disaster is that we’re so caught up with our own mess of thoughts and feelings that we forget to take a moment to breathe and try to see things from a different perspective. We forget that there are other people around us — people who may be directly or indirectly affected by said disaster — we ignore the promises we have made, we refuse to accept that failure to take responsibility for our actions will only result in the disaster snowballing to irreparable proportions.

But when we take that step back and look at the bigger picture, if not a different one, then some form of solution comes almost too easily to us. And that is proof that we knew all along what we had to do in order to make things right, but we just never had to courage or the strength to face up to it.

I love that moment, that single illuminating moment, when an epiphany strikes and that abrupt, violent rush of dawning realization sweeps over you until it almost leaves you breathless, and leaves you feeling lighter than you have felt in a long time.

The last 12 days have been a merciless series of bombshells, and every time it seemed as though the flames had died, another fire would start somewhere else. The last weekend was especially devastating, made worse by the feeling that I was being forced to run blind, only to see my worst fears come to life when the blindfold was pulled off.

But as is the case with any inferno, when the smoke clears, along comes a sudden flash of insight, of revelation, and with it the liberating clarity of what must happen next. Like that OMG moment that you get when you realize you’ve fallen in love, this is that OMG moment that comes with knowing how you can try to be OK again.

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