Well. And I was just saying that I wasn’t a risk-taker. Now it appears that I may have just taken the biggest risk of all.
For the first time ever, I’ve thrown caution to the wind and resigned from my job — without the guarantee of a new one waiting for me when my notice term is up. It’s surprising and terrifying, but somehow completely liberating. It’s as if I’ve finally learned that some things, no matter how safe and secure they may seem, are simply not worth fighting for, being miserable for, and giving up one’s integrity and ideals for.
Yes, I’m still somewhat of an idealistic person. Surprise, surprise.
So in less than two months, I could very well be unemployed, especially if the job I’m gunning for falls through and no one else sees fit to hire me. But for some strange reason, I’m freaking out less over it this time than I did the last time. Whether it’s because I have yet to feel the real shock of quitting my job — something I haven’t felt in more than two years — or because being with the Miner has left a permanently calming effect on me (surprise, surprise!), I am significantly less neurotic about landing a new job. Which, I am well aware, could very well turn around and shoot me in the face, but not for another five or six weeks.
Nevertheless, I am grateful for everything this job has given me: the patience, a renewed sense of self-worth (if albeit a challenged one half the time), and — surprise, surprise — friends. I’ve met a few wonderful people and made a good set of friends through this job, so it’s something I can’t say I wish I’d never had. I loved the work I did, I loved watching myself grow into this profession, and I loved the small, fleeting moments of satisfaction I could take away from it. And now that I’ve been doing this for two years and have learned a little bit of what to expect from it, I can’t wait to see where it takes me next.