Category Archives: Fashion

Wedding bell bore

“You can always tell which are the boring girls who have no imagination. They’re the ones in the strapless wedding gowns.” – My mother

This year has been the year of the wedding. Whether by design or happenstance, the year has been filled with one high-profile wedding after another. I suppose the hype of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding may have been what started it, and I don’t blame them; it was a long-overdue boost in popularity for the British Royal Family, and it was a chance for a fairytale-deprived public to steal some ideas for their own nuptials. I believe that beautiful April morning was what also turned more attention to the Monegasque royal wedding, because prior to that, nobody had ever heard of Charlene Wittstock, or even Prince Albert II of Monaco. Or — believe it or not — Princess Grace.

I was very much looking forward to William and Kate’s wedding; I was dying to know if the wedding gown really had been designed by Alexander McQueen’s Sarah Burton and if it would look like what I expected someone with Kate’s taste and style would wear. And, as the whole world and beyond knows by now, she didn’t disappoint. Then I waited for the Monegasque wedding to see what the almost-unknown Charlene Wittstock would wear, and again — though she didn’t look the most ecstatic of brides that day — she didn’t disappoint in her Giorgio Armani column gown. And then came the pleasant surprise of Kate Moss’s wedding, for which she wore a John Galliano design that I decided I would sell my soul to have — and that’s saying something because I had only been willing to sell a couple of limbs for Kate Middleton’s dress.

I have to post this one too because it’s my absolute favorite shot of her, and that is saying something because I generally think she’s ugly:

I’ll admit I was even looking forward to Kim Kardashian’s wedding. From the moment she got that boulder on her finger, her entire family was already unabashedly calling the impending nuptials the ‘Royal Wedding 2.0’, comparing themselves to the real Royal Family, and falling over themselves to divulge as many details of the wedding as possible to keep the hype going (this family, as a single, cohesive unit, is by far the biggest media whore I’ve ever known).

When it was announced that Kim had chosen Vera Wang to design her wedding dress, I immediately felt a little deflated. I remembered being less than impressed with Khloe Kardashian’s wedding gown two years ago (yes, she will celebrate her two-year anniversary at the end of September, by which time she will have known Lamar Odom for all of two years and one month), and I wondered what Kim was going to do with her own wedding dress — besides making it three sizes too small. So the Monday after her wedding weekend, I went to E! Online to look for the wedding coverage, and the first thing I saw was a bare-shouldered Kim.

I immediately lost interest in the wedding after that; I figured if the bride herself looked like any other suburban strip mall bride, then I couldn’t have missed very much. I even lost what little interest I had in Kim herself, because I knew that when the official wedding photos were released, I would see her in the most common-looking wedding dress in the world: strapless with a big skirt. I suppose I expected much more from her because of all the buzz she and her family had been kicking up in the weeks prior to the wedding, but in retrospect, there really was nothing more to be expected of her. Everyone knew she would eventually end up in a dress (or two) that looked like it (or they) had been painted on.

Which she did:

This then made me realize how many people I’ve personally known who got married in strapless dresses, which boggles my mind because I always thought that a bride would want to have her own, one-of-a-kind-look that no one else had, not a look that every last woman going through quarter-life crisis has done. And if they’re already wasting a small fortune on something like a wedding, the least they can do is waste it well by getting a dress that some people could pay a lot less for simply because all these dresses look the same.

So ladies, if you’re about to get married and you have the one-of-many strapless dress down as your dress of choice for what I assume will be the most important or special day of your life, I suggest you grab a strip of tulle and pin it in several directions, so that no one else can say your dress was like theirs. And gentlemen, if you want to prevent your wedding portraits from looking like one of those bad bridal dress store advertisements you see on the streets, tell your fiancĂ© that Kim Kardashian’s already done it, so it’s time to move on and move up.

God save my shoes

Becca sent me this today. They call it ‘the first documentary about the relationship between women and shoes’, and as someone who can never seem to have enough shoes, I can’t wait for it to be released. Until then, here is the trailer for the rest of you shoe aficionados:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Dk66xz8te0

And if that weren’t enough, here are some pictures from the production’s Facebook page:

I will go home and pat my Louboutins tonight.

For a Queen, by McQueen

It was the moment the entire world was waiting for. All over the world, people were getting out of bed at unearthly hours, pausing their work, or rushing home to their TVs to witness the most highly-anticipated event of the year — and it was only April.

It was not the wedding of Prince William of Wales and Catherine Middleton. Nobody’s that stupid, they all know what happens at a wedding.

It was the moment Catherine Middleton stepped out of the Rolls-Royce that brought her from London’s Goring Hotel to Westminster Abbey. In that dress.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpWy23FPpDM

I have to write this because in all my born days of hating weddings and trying not to attend or be involved with any if I can help it — a fact I hope to have made crystal clear — I have never seen a bride who wore her wedding dress as well as Kate Middleton did. I have never seen a wedding dress that suited a bride so precisely, so accurately, that as soon as everyone laid eyes on that breathtaking Alexander McQueen creation by Sarah Burton, there must surely have been a few whispers of, “I’m not surprised she’s wearing that.”

Then again, I have never seen a bride so perfectly in control of herself as Kate was, either, and this dress was a testament to that. From the many weddings I was previously too weak to refuse attendance, it seemed as though the brides were going for dresses that would bring out any one aspect of their personality most clearly — be it their (deluded views of) sex appeal, their love for ostentatiousness, or just their desire to make it known in any way, shape or form that they thought themselves above all other women simply because they were getting married. But Kate appeared to know that this was exactly what she wanted her wedding dress to look like, this was just how she wanted her hair to be styled, and this was how she was going to do her own makeup on her big day.

And this was how she wanted the world to remember her when she becomes Queen of the Commonwealth realms.

So congratulations, William, on finding the rare woman whose head always seems to be on her shoulders — which is more than I can say for the friends I have who are about to get married and being completely annoying about it. And congratulations, Kate, for not succumbing to pressure and keeping your head when everyone else around you is only too happy to lose theirs.

Now please bear with me and my favorite photos of the bride. It’s not often (actually pretty much never) that I have any interest at all in a wedding. Plus, no matter what, I am, after all, a girl, and therefore a sucker for all things beautiful.