Back into the wild

“Molto bello!” – host at Nello’s, Madison Avenue

Am home from Manhattan. This trip was definitely one of the more memorable ones, probably because of the horrendous first day; as Jeremy put it, “I can’t even say you had a bad morning, because it was the whole damn day!” And on the second evening, was sitting at the bar at Tao when was offered an invitation to the Waldorf-Astoria by a complete and allegedly ‘very generous’ stranger, and as this is not the first time such a thing has happened, it might be a sign that it’s time for a visual assessment in the mirror; am either, as B put it, ‘marketable’, or am destined to wake up one morning with a thousand dollars in cash on the nightstand in manner of Carrie Bradshaw (“I don’t understand; what part of me exactly screams Whore?”).

Am a little sad to think that this could well be the last trip to Manhattan, though am obviously planning to go back there at some point. Thank God the weather was unseasonably warm throughout the entire stay, which is probably why am now sore all over from walking two days in a row as did not really need the subway. Am also significantly poorer, but will probably not be shopping for a while now as will have a lot to pack and ship home. Now that am back in Buffalo will have to get things done for Shirley’s baby shower next weekend and start cleaning out the apartment.

An odd thing that happens whenever I go away on my own, especially to a place like Manhattan, is that I tend to think a lot. It might be because I’m in a different place and seeing things from a different perspective. It might be because all the noise and flurry of activity on the streets has a strange way of clearing my senses and making it easier for me to think more clearly. And this time around, it might be because I saw a man almost get run over by an Oscar Mayer truck outside Jeffreys New York in the Meatpacking District yesterday, thus sending his wife/girlfriend/whatever into a shit fit. Whatever the reason, it made me think about all the things I still have to do, all the people I still have to care for, and all the things I still have to say. And now that I know, I can slowly let go of everything else that once seemed so important but now seems so trivial.

You will never know how close I came to breaking, and how much it cost me to keep it all in.

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