The biggest lesson I’ve learned so far this year is, as cliched as it sounds, to never say never — or to not be so set in my ways that going against them seems an ungodly thing to do (even if it probably is). This year seems to be defined by nothing but never-say-never moments, and the growing dread that somewhere along the way, I may have bitten off more than I can get my teeth around. For instance:
I never thought I would be in a long-distance relationship with a man whose circumstances in life would scare off any girl wishing to settle down in her current lifetime, and yet here I am.
I never thought I’d actually love a man enough to even be in a long-distance relationship — or really, just a relationship of any kind, given how disastrously my last one turned out — and yet I did.
I never thought I would have the opportunity to go back to Europe — even though it was for work — and more importantly, cover BaselWorld (which I have yet to write about and will as soon as I can find a way to do so), and yet there I was.
I never thought I would find myself in a position where I was once again questioning my own capabilities, my self-worth, and my own principles on how to do my job and everything it stood for, and yet there I was.
I never thought I would actually leave said job, without even the certainty of a new one, because I was driven by the sheer weariness of having to deal with people who were simply not worth the headaches, and yet I did.
I never thought I would land myself back in the public relations field, and in the jewelry industry no less, and all because of someone with whom I have a personal relationship, and yet here I am.
So yes, this year has been teeming with never-say-never moments, and now that they are moments that have come to pass, I don’t know how I sat tight through them all without wanting to scream, cry or throw up. But I believe this year, more than I did in any other year, that somehow, some of these moments were meant to happen, although I’ll be damned if I know why. It’s interesting, and completely terrifying, and I can’t wait to see how it all pans out — almost as much as I want to crawl under a rock and wait for a sign that all of this will turn out all right eventually.
But for now, I’m here, I’m alive, and there are days when I never thought I’d make it. And yet here I am.