A thousand times over

khaled hosseini

The Kite Runner has always been one of my favorite books, and never fails to invoke a tear in my eye every time I read it. This line, in particular, strikes an exceptionally loud chord in my being, because I now truly understand what it means. It speaks of a love so profound, so altruistic, that it goes beyond romance and verbal declarations. It fits two people seamlessly together with all the things they know they feel, but never have to say.

People think that love is only about being happy with someone and carving out a life together, but that’s not quite accurate. Love is about putting someone else first and wanting them to be happy and fulfilled, even if it means setting them free to find that happiness and fulfillment with someone else. It’s when we learn and attain peace from watching them grow and find themselves that we know we did right by them. And we would do it again and again, a thousand times over, for them.

I am equal parts fortunate and unfortunate to have found that kind of love. Fortunate because I never thought I would be worthy of something so special, and unfortunate because I know I will never have the strength to do it again with anyone else. I know that nobody will ever love him the way I do, and nobody has ever loved or will ever love me the way he does. And if my memories are all I will have left to keep me warm at night, then that is the risk that I am willing to take.

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