Afham is away for the week, until possibly Friday. That leaves me alone in my new house. Or alone with what seems to be a small following of ghosts. I’m somewhat convinced that my house is haunted, either because it stood empty for a long time after it was built and other things saw fit to move in, or because the ghosts that inhabited my room in my old house decided to follow me to the new one. It didn’t help either that I started having strange ‘dreams’ immediately we after we moved in, the same kind I used to have in my old house until my increasingly superstitious father decided to put a small figurine of the Buddhist Goddess of Mercy in my room.
I call them ‘dreams’ because they happen only when I’m trying to fall asleep, but I have a feeling I’m actually awake and just not able to move or speak because something is preventing me from doing so. Naturally, Afham is convinced that all this is in my head and what I feel every time I walk into the guest bedroom could just be because nobody uses it. He also thinks that, per the Muslim belief, the gates of Hell are locked during the month of Ramadhan, and therefore I don’t have to worry about ghosts running around the house, and above all, he believes that I’m just having trouble adjusting to a brand new house after living in the previous one my entire life.
I suppose living in a house with no curtains also tends to give one the feeling that they are being watched.
Now, I will admit that I’m a complete ninny and exceptionally paranoid in many matters, and my imagination has a tendency to run wild after I’ve read, heard or watched anything that suggests things like Freddy Krueger exist. And although I’ve never been a religious person, I refuse to believe that my ‘dreams’ stopping immediately after the Goddess of Mercy set up shop in my old room was merely a coincidence. But after Afham suggested for the first time that I’m also feeling skittish because I’m not used to the house yet, I realized that in a way, he was right. For the past two weeks, we spent so much time packing, moving and unpacking that even when the ‘official’ moving day arrived — and here I scoff because it was all determined by a feng shui man — we never had the chance to sit down and digest it all.
And now that I’m alone in the house, working from home for the first three days of my new job, I’ve really been able to think about everything that has happened and how we got here, so fast, it seems. And I realize that no matter how much I missed living alone in Buffalo, and how excited I was to be on my own again — although this time ‘own’ means ‘with man’ — in a house that I was allowed to plan by myself, all the changes, both big and small, have turned it into one big life adjustment.
So here’s hoping we’ll be fully settled in soon, and that I will be able to shake off my bizarre fears. Of course, my mother couldn’t help herself, and said, “Well, if nothing else, at least you’re familiar with the ghosts.”