Yes, my magpies. It took a lot of deep breaths, self-medicating and WordPress plugin tweaking, but I have decided to return to public posting. Even though my last public post was an announcement of a hiatus, I have in fact been posting privately for the last few weeks, and was waiting for the right time — and a new web host and server — to go public again.
I will admit, my decision to write publicly again was made almost entirely due to some of my readers, wonderful souls who reached out to me asking why this website had disappeared. I told them only half of the truth: that I was migrating this website to a new host and server, and therefore the website had to be shut down for a while. The other half of the truth: I was — and, in fact, still am — being stalked by a woman pretending to be a man on Instagram.
While I will not go into the sordid details, I will say that it has been an insanely turbulent 11-odd weeks, and this insanity will likely continue for a good few years, depending on when this 47-year-old trollop decides to grow up and focus on more important things. The turbulence led to other unwanted individuals being led to this website, and therefore I decided that for the sake of my sanity and that of the man I am with, it would be best if I stopped posting publicly here for a while.
Recent events have made me realize that even if this psychotic episode — I like to call it the Lebanese version of Empire — were to go on for the unforeseeable future, I do not owe it to anyone to put my life on hold for the sake of someone whom I do not know, like or respect. And every time I looked at the messages I received from readers asking if I was OK and why I had stopped writing, my resentment at having to hide behind this metaphorical firewall grew.
It was this last message, that can be found here, that really got to me, because this dear girl wrote everything that I have always hoped to embody through my writing: honesty, fearlessness, the strength to do what I love, and the ability to “write anyone to death”.
So not only have I decided to post publicly again, I have also made all the posts I wrote privately during my hiatus public. Some of it may shock you, sadden you, or even anger you, but those of you who have followed my writing long enough should expect nothing less from someone like me.