You may bring your eyebrows back down now.
Every year, on this day, I sit and reflect on the year that has been, trying to dredge up every memory I have of everything that has transpired over the last 12 months. And every year, on this day (and to be honest, in the weeks leading up to this day), I thank all the gods that the year has come to an end. I don’t think I’ve ever thanked them more profusely than I am thanking them right now.
This year has been nothing short of an emotional rollercoaster. I came to some unsettling realizations about the job that I otherwise love, and then decided that I love it enough to hold my breath and plow through. I was finally able to reconcile with the two friends I lost last year, when reconciliation has never been a significant occurrence in my life. I was faced with one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make in a very long time, and only at the very last minute, thanks to the fear of entering the new year with it hanging over my head, did I finally screw up the courage to make it. I finally realized that what I wanted now, at the age of 28, was completely different from what I wanted at the age of, say, 25.
Sure, I will enter the new year completely alone now, going to sleep in a big empty bed, coming home to a quiet, empty house (the cats and my brother don’t count), but with that solitude comes the knowledge that I now have the freedom and the clarity of mind to take control of my life again and slowly regain everything that I have lost. And that gives me a sense of relief greater than anything else has in a long time.
It also gives me more closet space, which I am more pleased about than I care to admit.
So au revoir, 2012. Here’s to a better, brighter 2013. As I said some years ago, there can be nowhere else to go but up.