Monthly Archives: October 2008

Still

My subconscious perseverance

I’ve thought and thought about it. I’ve questioned and second-guessed myself whenever I was asked that question. I’ve dredged up every single memory I have, both good and bad, and sifted through them over and over again until it hurts to think anymore. I’ve searched my memory and my soul, mentally relived every single day, and weighed out all the options and circumstances of it. And each time, the answer is the same: “Nothing has changed. Everything is still the same.”

But short of going to the extreme of telling you that my world still revolves around you, I don’t know how else to make you see it. Maybe you don’t need to see it…

Je suis comme dans l’amour avec toi maintenant comme j’étais tous ces mois avant.

Don’t Mistake Me

by Keisha White

We all have that one song we listen to when we’re trying to pull ourselves out of a slump. Whether or not it portrays exactly how we feel, listening to it just makes us feel better; it makes us think, I can do this.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-qRWP9NVuQ

Life can push you
It’s all about just choosing the way
Might sometimes rush you
Leaves you looking for yesterday
So many reasons for looking for freedom
By living life and learning each day
There’ll always be questions that stay left unanswered
But I’ll work it out all the way
There’s no time to grieve or feel sad about it
So left with only one thing to say

If you want to see a broken heart
Try looking in another place
If you think it could be torn apart
Try looking in another face
But don’t mistake me for somebody
Who’s hung up on you

Love can steal you
Can hide the key and lock you away
So many people don’t ask the right questions
There’s always someone else there to blame
There’s no time to grieve or feel sad about it
So left with only one thing to say

If you want to see a broken heart
Try looking in another place
If you think it could be torn apart
Try looking in another face
So don’t mistake me for somebody
Don’t you take me for anybody
Don’t confuse me with nobody
Who’s hung up on you

A delayed reaction

“You ready to rock and roll in sterile Singapore, baby?” – Eza

Here I am again, in a country I didn’t expect to come back to quite so soon — and I probably wouldn’t have had to either if I’d made sure I hadn’t left anything behind the last time. Walking around Orchard Road, and at one point being run to earth by a girl with bleached hair and glued-on eyelashes outside Paragon, I realized I didn’t quite like being here. Though some might say the hustle and bustle of the city is like that of New York, there was none of the hushed, controlled busyness, in spite of all the vehicular and human traffic that gives that feeling of life and activity to Manhattan. Instead, it was noisy, congested and downright irritating. And yet I was surprised to be feeling this only now, when I had been here three times over the past five months; it made me wonder why it had never bothered me before.

Maybe it was because you were here all those other times, and now you’re not anymore. Maybe the fact that you were here back then, right next to me, that made all the little things I couldn’t stand seem so insignificant. Maybe I had gotten used to you being here and today it seemed as though something was amiss, even though I’ll be gone by tomorrow and you’ll be there — theoretically.

And maybe that’s the whole problem: that I’ve gotten used to you.