Six months left. Where did the last six months go? Wasted. Wasted on a thankless job. Wasted on something that wasn’t even going to secure anything except a steady, and albeit measly, cash flow. Wasted on a promise that was broken three months ago. And yet… along with all that came a reason to hope and pray that the next six months won’t be wasted like the last.
“Can you make a mistake and miss your fate?” – Carrie Bradshaw, Sex & the City
Once upon a time, a girl fell in love (or at least what she thought love felt like) for the first time. He was 16, he went to the same school, he looked like Devon Sawa (which was the general consensus among the girls in her year), and the most amazing thing was that he appeared to like her as well. But being too young and naïve to understand how a relationship works, things turned very sour very fast, and she spent the next two years wishing she’d gone to another school. Now, ten years later, they’ve begun to patch things up, and even talk about a reconciliation.
What are our reasons for a reconciliation? Is it the guilt of treating the other person badly, and therefore the need to make up for the mistakes we made? Could it possibly be that — dare I even say it? — the feelings have somehow been reignited, after ten years of not talking to each other? Or — similar to the reason that people who die come back as ghosts — is it just the curiosity and the intrigue of what could have been if we hadn’t made those mistakes, therefore turning the relationship into some ‘unfinished business’ that just needs to be taken care of?
We spend all our lives searching relentlessly for that person who understands us, whom we can talk to on our own level and be completely comfortable with even though there is more than one ocean between us, and who tells us not to panic if they suddenly appear offline on MSN because they just know we will. And now here they are: the one person we haven’t spoken to for ten years is suddenly back in our lives and we’re left wondering if they’re back for a reason. Maybe we were meant to make those mistakes for a reason; maybe we had to grow up before we could find that one person. For some people it might have taken ten years for it to happen, but maybe we just had to get on the merry-go-round until it was time to stand still with the right person.
|1.||confidence or trust in a person or thing.|
Is it really dead? Or are we so burned by life itself, and become so cynical, that we’re incapable of having it anymore?
When we hold on to something — a job or a relationship — even though we’re not very happy with it, is that a sign of faith — faith that eventually the tide will turn and that long-awaited promotion will finally come, or that the other person will come to their senses and realize that they can’t do without you — or is it just the complete inability to let go? Are we so proud that we can’t admit that yes, we do still have faith, and instead resort to the bravado of writing something off as a lost cause?