Monthly Archives: February 2007

Note to self

How did it come to this? What’s happened to you? Qu’as-tu fait?

You always had a good head on your shoulders. You knew exactly what you wanted and how to get it. You always knew what you could have stood to lose and the risks you were taking, but you also knew how to get around that and still in the end get what you wanted. But how did it come to this?

Was it because you’d been burnt so many times? Was that why you unconsciously took it out on the next person? You knew how it felt to have been betrayed over and over again, and yet you did it yourself. The inability to let go of all the past anger and hurt has in turn caused you to hurt the person you love most. You always tried to get past it, but what made it so difficult? In the back of your mind you always knew you could have done it easily, but what caused all the relapses?

After the last few months, you knew you’d found what you were looking for, but you were slowly throwing it away. Was it because it had come too easily, or because you thought you could always get it back somehow? Ou tu ne l’as pas aimé assez? No, you did, with your whole life. Then how could you have done this? You knew what you stood to lose.

Now you know where you stand, and what you must do. You did it yesterday, but you have to hold yourself to it to make it work. And yet, in the end, we all get what we deserve. So is it all too late? Whether it is or not, you know you still have to do it, for your own sanity and peace of mind, et pour ton amour.

The aftermath

The strangest thing happened today. Someone Googled the Ennio Morricone concert and found that it was mentioned in this blog, and added me on MSN. This stranger was in the audience at Radio City Music Hall, and talked to me about the show. Then he mentioned this to someone else, who also added me on MSN, and sent pictures of the concert to me.

Was checking Xanga Footprints, and saw that someone from Quebec had leapt onto this page from a forum dedicated to legendary film director Sergio Leone, and found that there was an entire thread about Ennio Morricone’s Radio City concert. And while reading it, this jumped up:

Also found some news online about Ennio Morricone’s concerts:

And we’re on Youtube!

Ennio Morricone in concert at Radio City Music Hall
Featuring the New York Virtuoso Singers, Canticum Novum Singers and UB Choir


Can I do it?

Sometimes you look around and wonder what the point is anymore. Kind of like what the point is of staying in the relationship when you know he’s cheating on you. Or what the point is of keeping the car if all it ever does is die on you. Or what the point is of staying on the job if the company that hired you might end up not sponsoring your H1 visa, even though one of the reasons took the job in the first place was the higher possibility of getting the H1 anyway.

Will now be reduced to one or all of the following:

a) Fighting tooth and nail for the H1
b) Staying on this job while looking for another one that will ensure an H1
c) Marrying a citizen

Will obviously choose (d) All of the above.