Had the quietest birthday in all born days yesterday, which was a nice change really, as could keep to self and not bother about anything or anybody else. Went shopping on Tuesday and splurged on clothes and shoes, and as the weather is nice today will probably do that again after the monthly Brazilian wax and long-overdue haircut.
Am 22 years old; 22 years old and still unsure of what to do with self. It’s unreal.
Out of the 26 birthday messages on Facebook wall yesterday, none was as well-thought-out or entertaining as this one, courtesy of Ryan Rogers from the Chips:
Dear Sexy Geisha,
I noticed that it is your b-day. Our little lady has finally become a woman. A woman who enjoys leaving parties as soon as I get there, and ignoring me every chance she gets…but a woman nonetheless. I have no doubt in my mind that tonight you will once again be out on another one of your drunken sexual rampages, so live it up and have a great birthday.
Pz out homie.
Went to the Chips’ house last night for our Chips & Pitches (‘Pitchip’) dinner. We never ever do anything that involves only Chips and Pitches, so it was Rich’s idea to do this. Everyone was there except Ryan Gentner from the Chips, and Anna — 22 of us in total. The guys brought every table and chair available in the house to make one LONG dinner table. Was a lot of fun, and ate a lot too, after which everyone went downstairs to the living room to hang out, and ended up singing each other’s songs. Was rather funny that the Pitches know the Chips’ songs a lot better than the Chips know the Pitches’ songs.
Am turning 22 tomorrow. Although with all the nonsense that’s happened in the past couple of years, it feels more like turning 82.
I actually thought I could have the kind of life every woman wants, and the kind of life I always dreaded.
I will never again harbor thoughts of giving up my entire self just to please other people.
I learned to live with insecurities that I never even knew were there before.
I am now the bitter cynic who will always think that love only exists in the movies, and that very inaccurately.
I will always be haunted by the fear that I will never be good enough for anyone.
I will never again believe in forever.